I don’t resent doing this work but it is very hard for me and takes longer than it should! Last night I worked until 3 a.m. then, for some reason, decided it was time to wash the dishes. My roommate sent a text-shriek that silenced my displaced need for order, so I went to bed for a couple hours, then was up at 7 a.m. for meetings at the university before delivering the bundle of receipts and pages to the glittering new FACTOR offices on Spadina.
Yet it occurs to me that it would have simplified my work enormously if I had the courage to look at the final report forms before I started the project. All kinds of reasons held me back, but really, it is right up there with knowing what your goals are. If you understand your goals, then it is a matter of filling the steps in between your present situation and the future destination. I know that I resemble many musicians in that we are single-minded and cannot think beyond the current musical/reed challenge. But to thrive, we have to. Even though I was working for years to raise the money for this project, it actually happened. I could have trusted the process more and prepped for the final accounting with more assurance.
As hard as it is, it is easier than it seems. Oh, but I am tired now!