Restlessness, movement, joy, floods of ideas, speaking up, listening, contributing, collaborating,helping…
I think that there are a few markers to knowing if you want to be an artist (leader).
Movement is one of them… can you lean into your work or do you have to suck it up
and lie low?
Another marker of an artist/leader is the inclination to see beyond the job and imagine what is possible. If you act on this, you will inevitably get your knuckles rapped, yet you will probably also accomplish something in your life.
I am not comfortable with any work that requires me to sit for long periods (the only reason, really, that standard orchestral work is torture) or keep my ideas to myself, though I not sure what work that would be since I have never kept my ideas to myself. Paradox abounds in that the effort to communicate inevitably leads to misunderstandings, but I keep trying. It works eventually.
There is a vast difference between being tolerated (ideas expressed, room falls silent) or engaged (ideas expressed, explosion/trickle of ideas follows). It is largely a matter of finding a convivial situation though it absolutely does not mean a life of constant concordance and agreement. Life, love and work do need to have a link if we are ever to make our best contributions. And we have to make our best contribution.
I have a lot more to say on the subject, but my reeds suck at the moment and I really have to get to work.